Up the River Without a Paddle

What can I say about Laos?

For starters, I'll say about Laos what the United States Central Intelligence Agency government website says about Laos: "The large amount of unexploded ordinance (UXO) leftover from the Indochina War causes more than 300 casualties per year.  UXO contaminates some parts of Sevannakhet, Champassak, Luang Prabang, and Vientiane Provinces.  In addition, there are numerous mine fields leftover from the war along Route 9 and Route 20 to Pakse and Route 7 and Route 3 to VietNam.  Never pick up unknown metal objects and avoid traveling off well used roads, tracks and paths."

The Mekong River

Well slap a weapons manufacturer, isn't that interesting? How could they have possibly known my every anticipated destination?  Every spot I intend to to pass through is listed as a potentially dangerous UXO hotspot.  Perhaps I better bring a helmet.  And a flak-jacket. And some steel-toe boots.  Can this trip up the Mekong really be a good idea? I'm beginning to wonder...

A vacation within a vacation?

Wow! All of this traveling has gotten me feeling primed for a vacation. Not that this holiday hasn't been totally fantastic because it has, and I enjoy leisure traveling as much as the next guy, but now I feel the need to park up, chill out and sit down.  My choice is Chiang Mai, an ancient Buddhist city in the hills of northern Thailand.

Ahh, Chiang Mai, because I love it so much.  It's the perfect answer to the doctor's orders.  After a consultation with a southeast Asia travel map and a chilled Khmer coffee, it appears as if a journey up the Mekong along the Laos side of the river could land me into the promised land two weeks from now.  From there, my only purpose is to relax, recuperate, and enjoy while I contemplate what should take place next.

I could stay in Thailand for a while and that would be fine.  I could go to Japan to work but work can wait for another day; I have more important matters at hand.  I could head for New York City but I find the weather disagreeable at this time.  I suppose I'll keep traveling.  My bags are packed, work is out and I feel good. "Why not?" Exactly.

Land border crossings into Thailand grant fifteen-day entry privileges.  An application at the Thai Consulate in Laos will grant sixty days, with a thirty-day extendable option, all free of charge.  All I have to do is charge my IPOD and get ready to wait in the queue.  For lack of a better option, this is my plan.

CAMBODIA

Kampot Town, Kampot Province, Cambodia

The United Nations rates the countries of the world in terms of GDP, per annum income per capita, depth of infrastructure, quality of education, access to clean water supplies, quality and availability of healthcare, life expectancy, infant mortality rate, corruption, etc.  On this basis, Cambodia is ranked 166 out of 180.

The only thing I knew about Cambodia was that you can get to it from Vietnam. Immediately, you recognize that things here are eerily quiet, slow-paced, dirty and extremely messed up.  Cambodia is one large agrarian countryside of rivers, mountains, rice paddies, livestock, abundant sunshine, thatched huts, and bikes.  Again, it's eerily quiet- as if the Khmer are hiding behind a wall of silence.

The corruption starts from before you get through border control.  "One dollar for the Vietnamese patrol, and one dollar for the Cambodian side.  One dollar more for each if it is Saturday, Sunday or after 6 p.m., this is overtime.  One dollar for a health check (a thermometer in the mouth) and one dollar for your photo being 'not right size.'"

I suspected they might be poor; my suspicions were correct.  But I didn't expect that they'd be reusing-the-straws-at-the-restaurant poor.  Most students I taught had no running water, no flushing toilet, and no hot showers.  Cambodia is dirty.  There is no pavement. The kids' clothes are dirty.  My feet are dirty.  My luggage is dirty.

I felt like a ten-day runaround in Cambodia would suffice, but once inside, I found myself surprisingly enjoying it.  You can swim in the oceans and rivers which are strikingly clean. You can get a $4/hr full-body Japanese-style Shiatsu massage by the blind- I got two.  You can sip on coffees in cafe's run by deaf war casualties.  You can watch dance recitals presented and performed by orphaned children.  You can play soccer, billiards, chess, and putt-putt mini golf.  You can explore the caves in the countryside which are situated in dormant mine-fields.  You can drink palm-wine out of bamboo tubes with Khmer locals while sitting on grass mats, which is all good and fun until you try to stand up.  You can let little nibble-fish nibble dirt and dead skin off your feet in a big street-tank while gulping down the various local Cambodian beers- it feels tickly, (and so do the fish nibbles).  You can have the hair on your back (or your legs) removed by a piece of thread wielded by teenage girls; it hurts yes, but they assure you "no pain, no gain," just wince, grimace and bear it old man.  And the highlight of six months worth of travels was Angkor Wat!;  Home to 1200-year old ruin leftovers from the heyday of the Khmer's once-mighty and dominant empire. Ten days turned into four weeks and four weeks became quite enjoyable.  I really liked Kampot town.

One down, many many to go!

Sunset on the Kampot River

(Kampot is an old French colonial river town that was gutted and razed after a bout with the Khmer Rouge in 1976;  That town looks like how your town would look like after the Khmer Rouge had their way with it.  A very funky place indeed).